Jackie's First Day of School & A Life Update

Jackie's First Day of School & A Life Update | Outfit Details

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Jackie's First Day of School & A Life Update | Why Jackie Started School

Monday was Jackie's first day of school. We knew this day was coming. We had known since Thanksgiving. That didn't make it any easier. At 2.5 years old, I wasn't ready to send her to school. She is still my baby. She has been by my side from birth. She came to work with me daily and we have rarely been apart. But this decision isn't about me. It is about Jackie and what is best for her. We didn't send Jackie to school because it was time, or I needed to get more work done. We sent Jackie to school because she needs more than we are qualified to give her. Jackie was evaluated by the county and was categorized as Autism. And on Monday, she went to school, on a bus, to be in a Preschool Autism Class.

This post was written as everything unfolded. I wrote down the events of each week so I could look back and remember what happened. I wanted to keep track of all of the steps and emotions from this process for myself, my family, Jackie and all of you. I've edited it a little but I wanted you to experience the actual emotion and experience of all of it as it happened. Some people will think that I am sharing too much. But when it comes to this, I don't feel like I can share enough. So many other people are going through this without knowing what is going on with their child. Or they are going through the process and are feeling alone. My hope is that someone reads this and feels like they are seen and understood. That there is a label for what is happening. That they can get help. And I hope one day, if Jackie ends up reading this, I hope she knows that we love her. And that I shared our experience because she was so blessed to have the best support system. And maybe her story did help someone else. There is a line that I am trying to walk between sharing enough information about our experience and protecting Jackie and her privacy. For this reason, I will focus on my thoughts and experiences and not as much on Jackie.

Jackie's First Day of School & A Life Update | How We Got Here

From the time I found out I was pregnant, I knew two things. We were having a girl and she would struggle. Call it mothers' intuition, I call it inspiration. The Lord prepared me long before Jackie was born for what to expect.

The first year of Jackie's life was normal. She was an EASY baby. She slept well, she ate everything and a lot of it. She developed at a normal rate. She was even ahead on a lot of things. But after Jackie turned one, things started to change. At first it was just typical toddler behavior. But as Jackie got older, we started seeing signs. She wasn't talking very much. She had zero interest in interacting with other kids around her age. There were a lot of repetitive behaviors. Meltdowns where we couldn't consul her. Fixation on activities or towards specific objects. A limited diet, mostly to foods with crunchy textures. Sleep issues. I was seeing the signs but waited. I figured that we wouldn't be able to get a diagnosis for her at such a young age. I think I was also hoping it was just a phase and she would grow out of it. Luckily I have a lot of family experience with ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder). We have family who have been diagnosed with ASD, who have worked with kids with ASD and who work within the local county to help kids with ASD. It was the last family member who reached out to me, having heard through the grapevine, that we were worried about Jackie experiencing a speech delay. She directed me to the Child Find department in our county.

It took me about a month to finally make the call. I was stalling. I didn't know how long this process would be. And of course, Jackie was going through a great phase. She was happy and we had gotten past the upset of our summer travels. And then we hosted my older brother's wedding at my parents' house. I take Jackie to their house every day and with the house turned upside down, furniture moved around and typical wedding crazies, it was too much for Jackie. She started having daily meltdowns. Horrible meltdowns. So bad, that I started having daily breakdowns. Half way through the week, I called Child Find. I was mentally prepped for a 30 minute call. To be put on hold and to answer a bunch of questions. It was a 6 minute call. The woman on the phone asked me why I thought my child needed to be evaluated. I listed off a few things I had written down. That list ended up being 3 pages long printed out. About 3 items in, I started to cry. I was so overwhelmed and at a loss. The wonderful woman on the phone told me it was ok, I didn't need to tell her the whole list. She got my address so she could me a packet of paperwork to fill out, and that was it.

In less than a week, on a Friday, we got the paperwork. The Husband and I spent the time to fill out all of the paperwork so we could have the best results to send to the county. I included the 3 pages of notes I had taken so that the county would have a better understanding of what we were dealing with. We mailed it back to them that Monday. I had been told that a case worker would look at the paperwork and then call me for any clarifications and questions. It took 2 weeks, but I got the call. Again, a wonderfully trained woman. She was grateful for my notes and asked a few more questions. This call took about an hour. She was very thorough. We then went over the timing for our next meeting. The Husband and I would meet with a screening committee from the county to discuss the information we had sent and what the next steps would be, including if they would do an evaluation.

I was anxious about this meeting. Most people that know Jackie in person, have a hard time believing there are issues. You have to spend a lot of time with her to see it. And a lot of it could be shrugged off as just being a toddler. But I knew. And many others did as well. But I was worried that I had not conveyed enough information to the county and we would need to push them to even evaluate her. As a mom, it is my job to advocate for my child and I take that seriously. The Husband and I went into that meeting ready to fight. But we didn't need to. They read through the notes from the case worker and my additional notes. They decided to schedule a full panel of evaluations for Jackie. We were relieved. We scheduled the evaluations and the follow up meetings there.

The Husband and I took the morning of October 21 off of work. We got Jackie up and took her to the evaluation center. We were both anxious. About how Jackie would do, about what they would say. Jackie did great. She played and went through the evaluations like to was just any other day. While she and I played during the Cognitive & Social Emotional and Communication evaluations, they did a sociocultural interview with The Husband.

The questions they were asking tipped me off. The things the evaluators were pointing out were signs. I knew before they said it. After the evaluations, the women doing them, took some time to talk. They came back in to talk to us about what the results were. They were categorizing Jackie as having ASD, however they insisted they were not providing a medical diagnosis. We would have to get that else where. I will talk more about this in later posts. The next step was to meet and discuss in November what programs Jackie would be eligible for.

Jackie's First Day of School & A Life Update | After the Evaluation

I struggled with a mix of emotions. Relief that professionals saw what I dealt with daily and I didn't have to fight for this classification. Sadness for what this meant for Jackie and her future. Hope for what the future will hold, knowing that early intervention is the best thing we can do for Jackie. But mostly peace. Like I said at the beginning, I was prepared for this. I knew that I had been given a precious little person who needed me to fight for her. And that is my calling. But that doesn't mean I didn't cry. I did. How can you not as a parent?

On November 7 we had her eligibility meeting. We opted to have this meeting as a phone call. The Husband had to go into work and we felt it would be easier to take the call from where we each were. Looking back, we should have at least been in the room together during this call. We had already seen the results of Jackie's evaluation so nothing in this call was news. But having the evaluators say specifically why Jackie was categorized as Autism was still very hard to hear. But everything they said meant that Jackie was eligible for services through the county. That she would get help. And that's what mattered. We were told on this call that we would be hearing from a Special Education teacher from a local school who would schedule an in home visit and then would write an IEP.

I reached out to a cousin after this call. She works as a special education preschool teacher in the county my parents live in (right next to ours) and I knew she could provide me with some information and comfort during this time. She spent about an hour and a half with me, walking me through potential options: resource teacher, half day preschool or full day preschool. A resource teacher would come to us once and week and work with Jackie on one specific thing. Half day preschool would be like a normal preschool but with other children who have disabilities and teachers who are specially trained. Full day preschool or Preschool Autism Classroom (PAC) would be full day school 3 days a week, half day 2 days a week with ABA certified teachers where they would work on every day skills. My cousin also warned me about the bus. That we should consider putting Jackie on the bus to and from school every day. It would help with the separation and the bus drivers/bus aids were also specially trained to help. This thought terrified me.

We heard from the teacher within 2 days. We had an in home meeting scheduled for November 12. The teachers that came were amazing. They sat on the floor and played with Jackie. Jackie even almost hugged one of them! From this meeting, it was clear that they were going to suggest a preschool option. We set up the IEP meeting for the week of Thanksgiving. I had already decided that if they did suggest preschool, I would ask to wait to start until January. December only had 3 weeks of school and then 2 weeks of break. It was going to be a hard enough transition to get Jackie used to school, I didn't want to have to do it a second time after Christmas.

The IEP meeting went great. The Husband and I went to a school close to us and met with two preschool teachers and the assistant principal. We walked through goals they had come up with for Jackie, which we had agreed with, and discussed the best options for Jackie. We decided on the PAC option. The teachers were very supportive of Jackie starting school in January instead of right away. The school where we had the meeting became Jackie's new school.

Jackie's First Day of School & A Life Update | What Now?

I was anxious for every meeting we had. I left every meeting feeling heard, validated and at peace. I always felt like what was discussed was the right thing for our family and for Jackie. While I was at peace about all of it, I still had fears and anxiety. How would riding the bus go? Would Jackie feel like we had abandoned her? Would she play well with the other kids? How would I do going from having her with me EVERY DAY, to only having her in the afternoons on some days and the evenings on others? We spent December prepping Jackie for school. I will share more about that next week since this post is WAY too long already!

I know that we are doing the right thing for Jackie. That this will help her down the line. It's going to be a hard month, maybe more, while we settle into this new routine. But it will be worth it. And we have the most amazing support system. Friends and family that took the time and energy to listen to me and lift us up when we couldn't do it alone. I received so many sweet messages this week that brought me so much peace while I was anxious and crying. We are so blessed. I hope that this post can bring someone else peace in a time when they are feeling lost. Know that you are not alone. That I see you. I am right there with you. And you will get through it.