How We Use Incentives to Encourage Positive Behaviors

How We Use Incentives to Encourage Positive Behaviors | Using Incentives

By now you have probably caught on that we are all about using incentives. I’ve talked about it before in my post about intermittent behavior reinforcement and I mentioned it in last week’s post about Choice Boards. I’m sure there are people who read this and think I’m spoiling my child and I’m a horrible parent. But I’m going to explain how we use it, why it works for us, and our reasoning behind using it. This may not work for everyone. And I think you need to set boundaries and rules in order for it to work. So let’s discuss!

How We Use Incentives to Encourage Positive Behaviors | Actively Earning

For us, incentives are rewards. Things that Jackie either knows she is working towards or little rewards we give her when she does something awesome. We do have some rules surrounding using incentives so that Jackie doesn’t start to think she gets something just because she exists. It’s very important to us that Jackie understands she has earned the incentive she is receiving. So let’s talk about the two different kinds of situations when Jackie receives incentives and the rules for each situation.

The first kind of incentive is one that Jackie is actively earning. Up until now, we having been using physical items as incentives. As Jackie gets older we will use experiences as incentives as well, hopefully this year. When Jackie is actively earning an incentive, we use something tangible to show her the progress she is making. For example, we worked on Jackie having her hair brushed and done. This was something we were struggling with in general and it’s a hygiene thing so it was important to work on. Jackie had to have her hair done 5 times in order to earn a fish. It took us two weeks to achieve this goal, but every time she had her hair done, she got a smiley face on the white board calendar in our kitchen. Once we hit 5 smiley faces, we went and got a fish. After that, we used additional items for the fish tank as incentives. Jackie then needed to get 5 days in a row of having her hair done to get a plant and a small snail for her fish tank. Which she got in a week. Then it was 10 days in a row to get a mermaid figure for the fish tank. It took a few times of starting over, but she got to the 10 days in a row! Every time we started over, I erased the smiley faces so Jackie could see her progress. It took some time, but she finally caught onto what was happening. We have continued to keep track of how many days in a row she has had her hair done. It’s over 50 now!

Another example of this is when Jackie completes a row on her dress choice board. She knows she can earn a small toy when she does this so she has the ability to choose how quickly she can earn those toys.

How We Use Incentives to Encourage Positive Behaviors | Private Goals

The second kind of incentive is when Jackie is working towards a goal that the Husband and I have set for her that she doesn’t know about or when she does something so awesome, we feel like it deserves a reward.

These kinds of incentives are a little harder to define but I feel like we have a pretty good system down at this point. Usually the kinds of goals we set for her are educational or social and we have to be in 100% agreement on what the goal is. At one point we agreed that Jackie would get something when she had a good day of swim class (back when we did swim lessons). Then she got something when she had 5 good classes in a row. Good for Jackie may look differently for another kid so you have to decide what that means for each individual child. Another example is we decided that once Jackie made it through her first set of IEP goals, she would get a Little People Frozen Castle. We had no idea she would do that in a month, but she did!

There are times when we give Jackie an incentive for doing awesome, so it’s decided in the moment that she will get the incentive. But we have to completely agree that Jackie has earned something at that time. For example when Jackie counted to 100 one day, she got an incentive. Because she is 3 and that’s insane. Another example is when she got to 30 days in a row of having her hair done. We hadn’t told her that she would receive an incentive but she got one that day!

How We Use Incentives to Encourage Positive Behaviors | Why We Think It’s Ok

So let’s talk about why we think using incentives is ok. I know that some people are really going to struggle with this because Jackie is a child but let’s image she is an adult and making her own decisions. Adults do this all the time. They give themselves incentives for completing goals or tasks, like buying an item for themselves when they complete a major goal or even going out to dinner to celebrate. Adults are also incentivized in the work place for completing goals or going above and beyond, that’s called getting a bonus. Those incentives just look different than the ones we use for Jackie. Which is why we think this is ok. This is how life works.

We are also using incentives only for positive behaviors, especially ones that will help Jackie in the future. Like doing her hair. Or wearing more than one outfit during the week. Or having a good swim class. These behaviors aren’t changing who Jackie is as a person and aren’t trying to make her fit into a “normal” mood. They are about hygiene or doing hard things. These are behaviors we want to instill in Jackie, ASD or not. So encouraging them with incentives works for our family.

Some of the incentives we use, like the fish tank and its contents, also teach Jackie responsibility. She earned her fish, now she needs to take care of it. For us, this is a stepping stone towards larger pets in the future.

How We Use Incentives to Encourage Positive Behaviors | Kinds of Incentives

Let’s talk about the different kinds of incentives we use and how I stock up on them! The bigger incentives, like the fish, are things we actually take Jackie with us to purchase. Going to the store is part of the incentive.

But I do have a stash of incentives that I keep in a box out of sight/reach so I can grab something when I need it. I buy inexpensive things that Jackie likes and put them in the box for when she has earned something. They are usually the $8 Disney Princess dolls you can get at Target/Walmart, the little Princess dolls that are $5, and other similar things. I have purchased larger items that I keep in the box for big rewards. I usually buy those on sale as well!

I do try to plan ahead and think of items we may use as incentives down the road. When I bought the mermaid figure for the fish tank, I also bought a castle. We are working towards another goal to earn a larger fish tank and the castle will go in that. I’ve linked some of the items we have used for incentives below!