Finding Your Confidence

Finding Your Confidence | Outfit Details

Dress: Rachel Parcell // Shoes: Target // Purse: Sole Society // Scarf: Amazon // Necklace: Made By Mary // Earrings: Kendra Scott // Bracelet: Alex & Ani // Bracelet: Alex & Ani // Bracelet: Alex & Ani // Bracelet: Alex & Ani // Bracelet: Kendra Scott // Watch: Arvo Wear // Sunglasses: Warby Parker

Finding Your Confidence | My Struggle

Paris says I was born out of birth order, I should have been the mom. I've been bossy and trying to be in charge since I could talk. But that doesn't mean I haven't had my own demons or struggled with my own confidence. I honestly thought I was stupid until I was diagnosed with ADD at 16. You can read all about that here. I was told by many people that they thought I was really mean until they got to know me. I never really had a consistent friend group growing up because I never felt like I fit in. I was awkward and my temper could flare up.

I was closer with boys than girls and I was always closer with adults than kids my own age. I pretty much always had a boyfriend because the attention felt good. As soon as I broke up with one, I quickly found a new one. None of those relationships were healthy or productive. I would become a different person, who I thought I should be. In college I dated a guy that just could not commit to actually being in a relationship. It drove me crazy. I would lay on my bed crying over the most recent fight we had, but I didn't think I was worth more than that. I finally realized I deserved better. And that I didn't need someone else to validate who I am. That was the best thing that happened to me.

Finding Your Confidence | Finding Friends

The best thing I can suggest is finding a good group of friends. It can be a small group but have a few people that are on your side. Boost them up as well. These people will be there for you when things are rough and when things are good. And you need to be there for them. Friendships go two ways and you can't forget that. This group of friends doesn't have to be big, it can be one or two people. But find people that care about you and have your best interests in heart.

I jumped from friend group to friend group in school. I never fit in and I felt like I wouldn't find the right group. But I had a few friends that were always there no matter what. They would stay up late listening to me cry on the phone and they could always call me at midnight with anything they needed. They are the ones that got me through the hard times.

Finding Your Confidence | Finding Your Passion

Find something you love doing. You probably won't be able to get paid to do it, but it can be a side hobby. But having something you love will always help with your confidence. It will be something you can turn to when you are in a low place or when you are beyond happy. It should be the thing you do when you should be other things. The thing that you think about all of the time and maybe haven't started doing yet.

Your passion can even change. When The Husband and I first got married, I didn't have a job. We lived in a small town in Southern Virginia and the only available jobs were at restaurants. With my wheat allergy, I was worried about exposure and having a reaction. I needed something to do and a way to make money. I started making burlap wreaths. I loved it. It was something I woke excited to do and stayed up late working on. But I eventually found a job and I didn't have as much time to work on the wreaths. I worked on them on the weekends and sometimes late at night but it was no longer an every day activity. And then one day, I started blogging. And that became my passion. Now I work on my blog every day.

Finding Your Confidence | Ignoring the Critics

This is something that everyone struggles with. There are the critics in your head and the critics that are out there in the world. The one in your head is the only one that you can control, so it is the only one to focus on. When it comes to tell you that you aren't good enough or you're not worthy, you need to redirect it. Practice self love. Be that little girl in the Facebook video, stand in the mirror and say what you love about yourself. You are worthy and no one can tell you otherwise, not even you.

As for the critics out there in the world, you have to accept that they are there. They aren't going away and they are going to target you no matter what you do. Some people won't understand why you do what you do or will want to provide input on things that are none of your business. Then there are the people who are just trolls. In a day of the being anonymous on the internet, people think they can say whatever they want about someone and it won't make an impact.

A few years ago, I posted a picture on Instagram of my toes at the edge of a pool and tagged the company whose nail polish I was wearing. They liked the post enough to repost it on their account and give me credit. I was thrilled! And then people started commenting on the picture. They were saying horrible mean things about my toes and how I was ugly and shouldn't post pictures of myself. I have long toes. It's not news to me and luckily it doesn't bother me. But these people thought that they had the right to comment about my toes and try to make me feel bad. Do you know what I did? I stopped reading the comments and I never looked at the reposted picture again because I wasn't going to let those people make my feel bad about myself.

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